Disability and Social Security

December 3, 2010 I filed for Social Security Disability.  Why?  Because my vision stinks.  I contracted a rare eye disease and was lucky enough (yes, that was sarcasm) to get the rare problems from it.  end result, I lost a lot of vision.  No central vision in left eye, and wavy distorted skewed vision in right.  So after dealing with this eye disease since October 2006, I figured it was time to apply for disability.

Like most people, I was denied the first time around, at the end of March 2011.  Beginning of April 2011, I hired a disability attorney, giving up 25% (or $6,000) of my backpay for them to handle my case.  The lawyer filed the paperwork and put down that I also am not able to work due to back issues and depression.  I think the intent was throw as much at them as possible, and one should stick.  More on that first denial, and why it happened, in the next post.

So, fast forward to October 14, 2011.  My file is closed by the state DSS (Department of Social Services).  Awesome!  That means I either get approved, in which case the waiting is over, and I am one of the lucky ones who won in the first two stages (applying, and then reconsideration).  Or, I am denied, in which case the process can start for the ALJ (Administrative Law Judge) hearing, which usually takes over a year to get to the hearing.

Not so fast though.  Seems my file was flagged for something called a QRB (Quality Review Board).  I was told by the lady at DSS that it is random, about 1% get chosen (of course I was one of them, right?  How could I not be?), and no one could tell me if I was approved or denied.  That is because the QRB can overturn a decision, turn an approval into a denial, and a denial into an approval.  Takes 2-4 weeks on average, usually 2.  Ok, more waiting.

Oh, and during all this time?  No income, outside of child support (when it showed up) and my sons SSI that he got, which was around $350.  Anyone who lives in California knows that $350 is not going to do a lot for things like paying rent, power, etc. 

It turns out I am not the most patient of people out there.  I suspected this, being 41, but this process proved it.  I hated not being in control.  I hated that someone, the people at Social Security, knew what was going on, knew whether I had been approved or denied.  But no one would tell me.

I googled the hell out of QRB, trying to find anything...just anything.  I found a lot, but it seemed to be the same phrase copied over and over.  I dug deeper, and here is what I found out (in case anyone else has googled it and stumbled across this).  Approvals go to QRB.  It generally does take 2-4 weeks.  About 2% of all approvals are turned into denials at the QRB stage.  How did I find this out?  I stumbled across one very helpful person at Social Security who whispered this to me, I am assuming in hopes of calming me down as I was near hysterics on one of my thrice weekly phone calls to the local office for an update.  So, if your case is at QRB, congratulations for the most part :)

So, I called my local office on Wednesday (2 days ago, the 16th).  Normally, I would not call until Friday.  But Thursday, I ended up in the emergency room (for their minor emergency area) because I had the ear ache from hell.  If you have ever had a kidney stone (I had one about 1 1/2 years ago), the pain, that sharp sudden stabbing pain?  It felt like that in my left ear.  Plus my teenage son looked and said it was all but swollen shut.  And my state medical insurance that poor people get was not active because my case worker apparently did not get a document I mailed over a month ago.  So, the ER really was the only way to get medical treatment at this point, and the pain was severe.  Anyhow, while I was in the ER, something the doctor said was like a sign almost.  Yes, I believe in signs, not with my entire being, but if enough are telling you something, follow through.  And then going to the pharmacy, we (my teenage son) and I took a taxi from the ER to the pharmacy, because we had just missed the bus, and it would have been an hour wait for the next one, and it was about 45 degrees, and the cost was going to be $6.00 for the taxi, and I had that money, so figured go for it.  Something the taxi driver said also was similar to the doctor.  Then in the pharmacy?  The pharmacy lady, same thing.  3 people saying 3 different things, but the same thing  different in the setting, but the words were all the same.  So when my son and I got home, I decided why not, lets just call, you never know.

So I called.  Gave the information before they asked (social security number, name, date of birth, where were you born, mothers maiden name, current address), and the lady on the other end of the line told me that my file had been signed off by the ALJ (and I questioned that, since I had not gotten to that stage, but apparently, a person on the ALJ committee did sign off on it, go figure, it confused the SS worker too).  It was signed off the day before.  Ok, this is good news.  She suggests I call back on Monday, because by then, my file should be in the local office and we can proceed from there.  Ok, I won't call until Monday, I promise. 

I broke that promise.  I got news that the unlawful detainer my landlord had filed has a court date.  The legal aide attorney phoned me to let me know.  Stress level that was hovering around 100 (out of 100) that had finally subsided down to about 50, shot right back up.  So, I phone SS to see if maybe, just maybe, my file had gotten there.  The lady checked the computer, said I was already set up to receive my first disability monthly payment in December.  I asked the amount, and from that, determined that I did get SSDI.  Which is what I was hoping for.  SSDI is based off your work credits, whereas SSI is capped at a certain amount (around $600-$700 a month tops) and is income based.  Then I asked about Family Benefits, for my teenage son, since I am a single mom and he lives with me all year long.  I am glad I phoned today (Friday), because I have a phone appointment on Monday morning.  And they are going to do their best to get me my backpay sooner rather than the normal time because of the extenuating circumstances (the eviction).

Now, 12 hours later, I have been thinking about the fact that I am disabled all day long.  It is weird.  On the one hand, I have been disabled for a few years now (legally blind).  On the other hand, today it was official.  The government has deemed me disabled since January 2011.  I was hoping for them to have determined me disabled even farther back, as my work for the past 2 years has been spotty at best.  Last year?  I earned less than $4000.  This year?  Less than $2000.  And once this project I am working on ends, that is it.

I sat here watching tv (and noticed I have to be closer to the tv than a month ago :( ) and realized I truly have nothing to do all day long.  But yesterday?  I was in the same boat....  so nothing changed, outside of a regular financial payment coming each month on the second Wednesday of each month.  Which is a good thing.  But I don't know....  this....being officially disabled, it is weird...  So, why not write a blog about it...and life as a blind single mom. 

Oh...and for those who aren't enlightened (and I certainly was not when this vision stuff all started), there are varying degrees of blindness.  There is teh complete blindness (which I was for 2 weeks, and hope to never go through again, and truly feel for those who are).  Then there are those like me, who have low vision, that is bad enough to be considered blind.  What a normal person (like my son) can see, I have difficulty seeing.  My computer monitor (well, laptop) is 17", but I need to get a regular computer with a screen of at least 23", preferably 25" or even 27" with a low resolution (800x600).  With that I can actually function on a computer somewhat decently.  There are spots in my vision, so it isn't perfect, but it is better than nothing.  My tv is a 27" tv, the old box kind, and it is a good size  considering I am usually on my bed when I watch it, and it is 2 feet away from my bed, and I am usually in the middle of the bed, so we are talking I am usually not farther than 4 feet from it max...  You make adjustments.  When my dads mom (Nana) had Macular Degeneration, she was sitting real close to the TV, used a magnifying glass for everything, and I just did not get it.  I mean, she could still see, so how was she blind?  I know now. 

Ok, I will post probably on Monday, after my phone call with SS, when I know more about how everything will work.  And for those who have to go through the ALJ?  My  heart goes out to you.  This is a frustrating process to say the least.  But thankfully for me, the process is almost over, and soon, I can just relax  little, and contemplate the fact that I am 41 years old, and in 2 years I will qualify for Medicare, and my own mother won't until a year after that.  Amazing how things like that work out.....